Lily, Love And Pranks
by TheTinyestOne
Summary: Typical the only girl I can't have is the one I want above all of them. Bloody Evans, she knows she wants me I have rewritten itJL OCSB OCRL
1. Chapter 1

Lily, Love and Pranks

By Marla-Is-Beautiful

Chapter One

1st OF September, Hogwarts Express

James Potter!

How did he get to be head boy?

He must of blackmailed the teachers or tricked them somehow. Surely know one in their right minds would've made him head boy, he's so irresponsible and big-headed. It should've been Remus Lupin.

No one in their right mind would make Potter head boy! Stupid Potter!

I was so excited when I got my head girl badge, and working with Remus this year. I mean Remus and I worked together when we were prefects. Then Potter goes and spoils it Stupid bloody Potter!

He's going ruin my year-my final year!

Thank Merlin, Lacy and Edith are here or else my year would be completely ruined. They were totally sympathetic when they found out James Potter was head boy.

They understand why I detest him so much. Lacy, her brother (my ex-best friend. Successfully ruined , through the indirect actions of Potter) Severus and Edith met me in a carriage they had saved for us.

"Did you get head girl?" Was the first sentence out of Lacy's mouth. I laughed nodding. Lacy was always blunt, she always had been. Both girls squealed and hugged me. Severus scowled and kissed his sister's cheek.

"See you Lace," He growled walking off.

"Bye Sev," Came Lacy's voice muffled.

Edith was crying I could tell from the wet patch on my back. Edith stepped back searching for a handkerchief in the pocket of her skirt. Her short brown hair was messy and her round glasses had been knocked askew by the hug. I let go of Lacy, and surveyed the both of them.

Lacy had grown two more inches and now towered over Edith and I. Her long black hair was tied in a tight plait. He hair too had grown longer. She look gorgeous as usual, wearing a long lilac colour skirt and a white blouse. Edith; had cut her hair and permed it, which was all the fashion right now.

I'd personally never do it to my fire colour hair. It would look disastrous! Could you imagine?

Anyway, Edith had it just below her ears and above her chin. She was too wearing a lilac skirt and a white blouse with a lilac caragain lazily hanging off her shoulders. She had got a tan over the summer.

Lucky girl! I never tan. I freckle. It is really sad. Ever since I worked that out I have slopped on the sunscreen every summer. So no more freckles, but on the downside also no tan.

Edith wiped her face "Oh, I missed you guys!'

"Me too, I only had Petunia and her boyfriend; Vernon, for company," I said My big sister; Petunia had been none to pleased when Mum and Dad said they were leaving me in her company while they went on their silver anniversary to Greece. I stuck up a deal with Pet through. If she let me have the kitchen to practice my potions, I wouldn't tell Mum and Dad what I walked in on.

Not that I would ever want to repeat it. I mean, Ew!

Lacy hugged Edith, around the shoulders.

"Me too, Ed," She smiled

"Hello Evans" Came James Potter's voice from behind me.

Ugh Potter! He has thick messy black hair and chocolate brown eyes.

All females seem to think he name is a cinnamon for sex god. I disagree. All I see is ugly deliberately messy hair and a ego bigger than a Quidditch pitch. He is such a jerk.

Stupid Potter, it doesn't help that he insists on continually asking me out! It's like he enjoys ruining my years at Hogwarts or something! I spun around sighing

"Potter" I say shortly. Before turning to face Lacy and Edith again. He grinned as if me saying his name, made him the happiest man on earth.

"How was your summer?' He said. God damn it! Potter can you not tell when your not wanted?

"Fine," I said, stubbornly.

"Mine was okay.." He started

He just won't give up will he? I'm going to have to put up with this all year aren't I?

"...Would have been better if you were there." He finished. I choked down a laugh.

"Potter, that is so pathetic," He grinned once more, bowed and walked back to his insane group of friends. I swear he gets weirder every year. Time to make a list I think.

Top Five Things I hate about James Potter:

1) He instincts on continually asking me out

2)He and Blacks womanising habits

3) He's a nasty bully and needs to be the giant squids boyfriend.

4) He died my hair blue that first week of third year.

5) He tugged my plaits and said carrots like Gilbert did to Anne in Anne of Green Gables. In first year.

Stupid Potter, my day was going so good too! I'd got up to my alarm for a change. You wouldn't believe how rare that is, I'm a bear for my sleep. I never wake up to my alarm. To make it even better, Petunia wasn't up which meant I had the bathroom for as long as I needed. I didn't cut my legs shaving. Not even my knees!

Mum made me French toast. My favourite breakfast. I didn't drop my trunk once. I should've known it was too good to last.

Yet as soon as I hop on the train ...Potter ruins it!

Who does he think he is?

Ruining **MY **seventh year!

THIS IS SO NOT FAIR!

James Potter, the boy in question. Thinks the opposite of what I think about him, I know that for a fact. He thinks he is the best thing since house elves.

Unfortunately so does the rest of the world except for me and Lacy's twin; Severus. Which I guess doesn't help James ego. His ego is what drives me nutty. Among several other things of course. He is just a messy haired, glasses wearing, stuck up idiot.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily, Love and Pranks

Replies to Reviews:

baseball2horse- you realize your review was six pages long?

Remussweetie- Thank you, being a red head myself, I think I do, do the temeper very erm…redheadly! But that could just be me! I just hope I can keep it up!

Amythestpony- Thanks, contrary to popular belief I do use words spell checker and check my fic for errors. But I often over look them, I also have a writing problem so please forgive me for any errors I make I do try to prevent them.

Chapter Two

September 1st continued (Sorting Ceremony)

James sighed, how is it that every time he was hungry at the Sorting Ceremony their seemed to be millions of First Years? It was uncanny, every year. He glanced at Sirius who seemed to be half asleep on his arms waiting for the sorting to end. Remus seemed to be paying attention, but James could see that he too was bored. Where as Peter, seemed to be dead. James nudged Sirius, placed a finger on his lips and pointed to Peter. Sirius stifled a laugh and poked Remus in the side. Remus looked up and both boys pointed to Peter. Remus rolled his eyes, Sirius grinned and glanced at James. The two seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

They leaned forward and prodded Peter hard on each side. Peter jumped a mile high. With a high girlish screamed. The two boys shot grins at each other.

"Sirius! James!" He Screamed quite unaware that the whole of the staff and students were staring at him.

James and Sirius were just staring back at him unblinkingly, Peter shuddered and went back to looking dead.

"I do say, that young man can sleep through anything! Please Professor Mc Gonagall continue with the sorting." Professor Dumbledore chuckled. James noted that Mc Gonagall looked strongly disaproving.

As James looked around he saw many grins being sent towards him. 'Perfect' He thought, messing up his hair. One face at the Gryffindor table appeared not to be grinning at him, at certain red headed goddess. Who was sending he death glares.

Lily Evans, James Sighed. Lily hated him, and he didn't quite no why.

Mind you, there was that time when he called her a carrot, Oh! and, that time he had said just as they were having a moment where they got along "And your arse looks smashing in that skirt."

Yeah, she had not taken that very well. James swore he could still feel the stinging sensation on his cheek.

And that time when after their OWL's where he had Snivellus up in the air. Because he was bored. She had not taken that very well either…

In fact, now that he thought about a little, Lily could hold a mean grudge! Just because he had accidentally on purposed chopped her ponytail off in first year. Didn't mean she had to hate him forever did it?

As the sorting hat sorted the very last (and looking very scared first year by the name of Marla Zane) . Dumbledore stood up and Lily looked as if she would explode any second now, by the look she was sending James.

Finally he uttered those extraordinary words "Let The Feast Begin!"

"Potter!" Lily snarled, as she spun around to glare at him. "Can you get any more immature? How your friends put up with you when you treat them like that, I'll never know! Gosh, I wouldn't want to be near someone like you, not with a ten foot broomstick!"

James looked up from his plate, and faced Lily, and said simply "Go out with me Evans,"

Lily throw her hands in the air and let out a annoyed sound along the lines of "Ger.!"

Lacy and Edith both shot glares at him as well. James just winked and said "Is That a Yes?"

Lily called back "No!"

"Well then is that a no?"

"No!"

She seemed to be enable of saying anything but no to James.

"Pick you up at seven then?"

Lily ignored him. James jumped taking that as a yes. Remus begun to say "James, I don't think.."

But he was cut off by "YES!"

Remus tried again "James, I really don't think..."

"La, la, la, Remus I can't hear you, la, la, la,"

"But, James I seriously think..." Once more he was cut off by James (now joined by Sirius) singing 'La,la,la,la' Over and over again. He sighed and began to help himself to the mashed potatoes. Lily re-appeared further down the table about four or five minutes later, shooting glares at James and she began to eat a very small helping of dinner, Lacy and Edith chatting animately to her. James (Who had now finished singing) sighed as he watched them, chewing absently at his porkchops. Sirius poked him hard in the side.

"Ow! Padfoot!" Sirius grinned michevously.

"Time." He stated brown filled with spirit. James tore his eyes away from Lily to face Sirius.

"Already?" He grinned. At every start of year feast, the marauders played a prank on a unsuspecting slytherin. It started in first year with Severus with a extremely tricky bit of magic that made Severus snape appear to wear pink for the next three hours. They had recevied the very first detentions of the the year and of their school careers but it was a good start to a excellent tradtion. Over the six years of their schooling the pranks had been getting better and better. But this year, the were going to finish with a bang on the person they had started on: Severus Snape. Simatainously the four marauders raised their wands to the exact same height. James caught Professor Dumbledores eyes, he grinned.

"Recntanimy," They chorused, wands aimmed between heads at Snape. Severus rose above the table, spinning faster and faster and when he stopped. The Great Hall brust out laughing, he now had clean blonde hair(not dis-slimalar to that of Luscius Malfoys who had been seventh form in their third year) and was tanned. He had breasts and was dressed in a females robes. _Yes, this was going to be their best year yet_. James thought as Mc Gonagall came to them looking furious and Snape was swearing at them angrily across the tables.


	3. Chapter 3

_Lily, Love, and Pranks_

_By Princess M-A-R-L-A_

_Quote of the Chapter…._

"_Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he?" Said Fred quietly, as Mrs. Weasly left the room. "Birds of a feather…' –Fred Weasly. Book: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Page: 144. Chapter: Aboard The Hogwarts express. Book by JK.Rowling._

Chapter Three 

Gryffindor Common Room, September 2nd, eight o'clock in the evening. In the armchair by the fire.

Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, Defense against the Dark Arts

Not a bad day really… Except for the fact Potters in all my classes. Just what I needed, not only did he make Head Boy, but he somehow got all the same classes as me. To make matters worse Lacy is only in one of my classes and Edith is only in two. This year is going to be so boring if they are in (well barely any) like none of my classes. I mean less Edith, Lacy, and more Potter.

Who wants that? Seriously, waht did I do to desevre this much torture?

Because that much time with Potter could not be considered anything else. But torture! I mean, It's Potter!

Anyhow, we have Professor Slughorn for Potions again this year. He is a little barmy but he knows his stuff. He keeps telling me I should be in Slytherin, and I keep telling him why I would ever want to be in THAT house! He just laughs and pats my head. I am in his slug club. Nevertheless, I rather would not be, hopefully this year I will be able to slip out of it somehow. I doubt it through; I am his best potions student. However, maybe I will be able to fix some meetings over the days he wants to have his little dinners. He is an okay teacher through as far as teachers go; I mean he must be since he says I will go far!

Anyway, School is pretty much normal. Lacy is moaning that Sirius will never look twice at her because she Severus twin. However, who would want Black to look at them any way? I mean its Sirius Black, James Potter's best friend. As they say Bird of a feather stick together… If you get my drift…

I am serious through. If we had competition to see who has the most records in Flich's cabinet it would be them without trouble. They have had more detentions than I've had books out of the school library – and trust me that is a lot!

They are trouble makers, okay I am not saying that there pranks aren't funny or that they aren't incredibly cute. But some of them are dangerous! I do not exactly hate the Marauders (that is what they call themselves Peter, Remus, Sirius and James that is) I just think they are incredibly immature. But I guess alot girls think that just because they are insanely attractive and I mean VERY attractive makes up for their lack of brains. Well in my world it doesn't in my world its just incredibly stupid! Its not just Potter being annoying by asking me out every single lesson of every single day (except Muggle Studies in Third Year I didn't take it and he did) its the fact that they all have such huge heads. If You put all their egos togethor in one place the world would explode because it would be too heavier load for it to carry.

Well except for Remus, but he does not exactly stop them does he? Therefore, that makes him as bad as them! Oh and Peter.

I do not actually know what Peter is doing in their group; he is just a little tag along.

"Evans?" says a voice behind me. I spin around and glare at the person it was none other than James Potter.

Oh no, what does HE want?

"Yes, Potter?" I spun around hoping to end this torture session as quick as possible. He ran his fingers through his hair, nervously. Wait- he cannot be nervous it's Potter we are talking about! Oh god, he better not be planning on asking me out again. I swear if he is I will personally make sure that he can never ever have children.

"Erm, listen Evans. I was err... Wondering if" He said this next part in such a low voice I had to lean down to hear him… "You could help me with… my..." If he saves anything to do with his penis I am going to slaughter him bit by bit.

"With you're what? Potter" I said loudly, wishing he would get on with it

"Shhh!" He says, holding one finger to his lips. "Withmycharmshomework," He said in such a rush that I could not possibly understand him.

"English, Potter," I say spitefully. He looks at his feet and I suddenly get a great rush of emotions (guilt mostly) so I add in a lighter tone "English, please. _James_"

He looked up shocked, obviously that I called him by his first name. "Help me? please." He begged.

"James," I said tiredly "I cannot help you until I know what it is you want me to help you with,"

He still obliviously has not got over the shock of me calling him; James. Because he jumped and looked around.

"Oh, um, yes. Charms. I need help with Charms…" He trailed off and began looking at his feet again.He looks so shy and its kinda cute. Oh my gosh I just not just call him Cute?! Cute is a term for using when you have a chrush on someone not when are enemies. And then I did the wrost possible thing imaginable I smiled, actually smiled around him! Gosh, what Edith and Lacy would have to say if they had seen that, actually I do not want to think about it!

"Yes, I'll help you, Potter," I say tiredly, waving him off with my hand. Hoping he would take the hint and leave.

Unfortunately, he did not. He just grinned and flopped into the armchair beside me. I picked up my book and without another word, began to write, again.

"Lily?" He must think he needs to make more attempts at conversation.

"Yes," I said tiredly, looking up again.

"Thank you," He said and left without another word.

AHHH! THE APOCALYPSE! IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD THE EVIL WEASELS ARE TAKING OVER! POTTER JUST SAID THANK YOU!

I'm serious, that is what I thought as soon as he said those two words. Now that I look back on them, it was a rather stupid thing to think. In fact, I would go as far to say it was the stupidest thing I have ever thought. Even worst than that time I thought Petuina was actually being nice to me by asking me to come talk with her in her room- and then she made me sit in god knows what.

I was stupid there but not as stupid as I am now.

Top Five Reasons Why I am Stupid

By Lily Evans

1.I just agreed To Help James Potter With his Charms work.

2.I thought it was the end of the world just because he said thank you…I mean he would of said it to his parents before wouldn't he.

3.I called weasels evil. They are living creatures they cannot be evil. I mean no one is fully evil except for maybe Voldemort.

4.I thought that Petuina was nice that time…See above.

5.I think I might like Potter, more than I planned on…. and that could be extremely distratous. Not to mention humiliating.


End file.
